cotton balls, more pb, more portuguese rolls, blueberries?, apples, clicky sharpies [kry what else??]
…?
tried taco bell for the first time in my life
got a cheese quesadilla with a surprise side of BETRAYAL
THAT WASN’T FUCKING CHEESE
THAT WAS CHEESE SAUCE
and i didn’t realize it until it DRIPPED DOWN MY SHIRT AND ONTO MY PHONE AND BELT AND—
dkfiwjdjsj suffice to say, this bitch is never getting taco bell again.
me to polish boyfriend: you realize that, simply to right the wrongs of history, i have to be the dom in this relationship.
jack: okay babe
me: at LEAST culturally.
hahaha literally end me
apparently i say terrible things i don’t remember saying and then jack gets mad over it but then when i ASK WHAT IT WAS I SAID—
HE DOESN’T FUCKING REMEMBER.
sometimes.
between the drinking and bullshit like this and the “i do whatever you want/watch whatever you want to watch and when i want to do /watch something different you act like i’m committing a crime” claims (not true! i am pretty sure i tend to watch things he wants to watch at least as often as I get to watch what i want to watch if not more! but that could just me being CRAZY AND DELUSIONAL) that turn into fights and i end up feeling like a shitty bitch…
sometimes i just wonder: is this fucking worth it anymore?
rough gameplan for friday :
• Newington to pick up sandals from cobbler
• Walmart to return those damned Skullcandy earbuds i am so disappointed over not being able to even TURN ON
• Hartford to get my order fixed (wrong onesie)
• maybe best buy? (need noise cancelling)
• maybe polmart usps? (send sooz and package finally now that i have her geneva address)
• read textbook
• writeeee
cannot read. cannot write. cannot think. can barely keep my eyes open but apparently CANNOT SLEEP either
mm yes. brain fog. lethargy. no focus. just a general low feeling.
things that usually interest me deeply are not holding my attention and instead are making me… depressed, i guess?
sounds like sick’s a-comin’.
in other news, trying out a new psych soon. hopefully will be one who understands how autism fucks with medication metabolism & such and will be willing to work with me. otherwise idk i gotta look into like yale or uconn neuropsych shit i guess
woohoo more work for a brain that is FUCKING FAILING AT FOCUSING
LITERALLY MURDER ME
some bullshit about the Tosca Incident of Spring 2018:
(hilarious responses to the story from ChatGPT that are spot on; don’t be deterred by the ChatGPT mention)
apparently the charlie kirk memorial crashed grindr. the conservatives have repeatedly crashed the gay hookup app now.
“what? green tea is good for sleep!”
no it isn’t jackson this is why i literally question anything that comes out of your mouth
11 minutes. come on. just deliver the dish. let me eat and get sleepy and sleep until i can watch 1670 so i am not just lying here like an idiot wishing my brain could string together a sentence of writbits or even fuckin’… read shit…
ALT
